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Hope for the Brokenhearted

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Shulanda J. Hastings

Ambassador Shulanda

Ambassador Shulanda

Shulanda J. Hastings is an inspirational writer, Christian counselor and an ambassador to the faith-based community; helping them break mental health barriers. She is the author of the Beauty of My Thorns novel series and of the memoirs, Keeping My Faith While Saving My Mind.

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Right now, are you one of the many who are still on cloud nine?

Are you still basking in the residue of love that was filled in the weekend air?

OR

Are you one of the ones having a difficult time trying to find the strength to get out of bed and start your day? Be encouraged. Many are in similar struggling situations.

Many are having to deal with the disappointment of another date, another relationship and another broken promise. The fact that you had to gain the courage to give love one more chance only to be discouraged again, is an even deeper cut into your heart.

How could I be so stupid?

Why was I such a fool?

Are a few of the questions that you have toiled with last night. Because despite how others hurt us, it is easier to blame ourselves for their actions.

REMEMBER: You are only responsible for your actions.

And it takes strength to open your heart up to someone. So don’t beat yourself up for giving yourself the opportunity to experience happiness with another person, even if you think there are things you could have done differently.

But let’s get to your current state.

Why are you still in bed? Why are you still dragging around the house or in a “walking dead” posture at work?

EVERYONE it seems is talking about last night and this past weekend. Your friends on social media are showcasing their pictures with their significant others, broadcasting their gifts received and your coworkers are bound to ask you how your long anticipated date went.

The hoopla continues even after the most overrated holiday.

You either want to stay in bed and pull the covers over your head or just lounge around and watch love movies of all things.

You know what?

As natural as that feels you can resist the temptation to give totally into depression. That feeling of wanting to isolate yourself from the world because you are so disappointed in two people (yourself and the one who hurt you) is a normal response that many give to a broken heart.

BUT it is not a healthy one.

Yes, it is healthy to acknowledge your hurt and even feel the pain of a relationship. Even so, there are a few things you should remember.

  • This is a temporary experience. Meaning that whatever disappointment you have had with your significant other, spouse or now ex, will not last a life time. It might feel like eternity now, but its not. This is a lesson and you have the opportunity and choice to learn from it.
  • Allow yourself to heal. Own your pain, but also forgive yourself. Remember, you are only responsible for your actions. If you think you made a few mistakes in the relationship, you are entitled. You are human.
  • Let others love you. It is easy to go into heart defense mode and tell yourself that you are not going to give anyone the opportunity to love you or hurt you again. This other person, the one who disappointed you, does not deserve the accolade of keeping others from loving you. There are many people who care about you and want to help you through this difficult time. If you can’t think of any I know for a fact that God is one of them. And He specializes in mending the broken heart!

Now, you still have work to do on your part. You have the strength to get through this day. The more you start moving, the less stagnate you will be in your emotions. If you are wondering what to tell the many that might ask how was your weekend? You have the choice to engage or not to engage with them. Oh and if you encounter someone who did get engaged this “lover’s” holiday, be happy for them. And know that one day your time is coming soon too!

If you want more tips on how to deal with your broken heart, I stumbled upon a blog post, “Getting Over A Broken Heart”. Or, if you feel as though you might need a little extra push getting over this hurdle, I would love to help you. Email me at Healthymindscoach@gmail.com. Remember, there is HOPE!


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