“I do” OR “I don’t”?

February has now arrived.

Many have anticipated it.

Some are overwhelmed that it is here.


After all, February is full of love, right? Grade school kids will be passing the traditional notes. Middle school students will be waiting to be asked to the dance. Teenagers will be going on their first date.

Grown women will be waiting for their Boo of 10 plus years to propose.

“I do” OR “I don’t”?

Will be the question still pondering in the minds of many women.


If you are a woman, you probably know the answer because you too have been there. You have been on the receiving side of low self-esteem, rejection, and just plain foolishness. Don’t get offended. You know how the song goes…

Every body plays the fool, sometimes. There’s no exception to the rule. (Aaron Neville)

So yes, I confess too, so have I.


I eventually had to start applying…

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:9)

Ladies, how many of you are in need of peace right now in your relationships and definitely in your mind?

Been there…done that and so has the character, Lady Sherri Pearce, in my novel Marriage Thorn. She too was faced with the pressing question, I do or I don’t? Well, you will have to read the page turning book in order to find out all the issues a Christian woman and preacher’s wife can go through in a marriage!

Do you mind if I shine light right here?

You are a woman of faith. Yet, you have experienced the mockery of an unhealthy relationship. Everyone from your girl friends, family to church members have either verbally volunteered their two cents to you or whispered criticizing nuggets behind your back. Own it all. You know how judgmental church folks can be because you have probably been the woman talking about the woman who is now you too…

Did you just catch all of that?

This might be a bid much on a Monday morning. However, it is worth the time to stimulate conversation not between you and others, but between you and God and yes, I need you to talk to yourself too!

God created us for relationships. Healthy relationships. He does not desire for us to be in verbally, emotionally or physically abusive relationships. Take an assessment of your current relationships. This include those with significant others, as well as, family, friends and unidentified foes. How much rope of abuse, pain and disappointment have you given to them? Are you so tangled up that it has tighten up your ability to know that you deserve better?

How long have you been battling with these individuals? As I recently stated on one of my social sites, “If the BATTLE is not apart of the VICTORY, then it’s not worth the battle”.

Yes, there are battles that are worth it. There are some relationships worth saving and doing the work to do just that. However, there are some that are poisonous.

Compile a list of your close relationships. List the qualities that each person has and gives to you. If you find yourself becoming filled with unhealthy emotions with a particular person(s), then you really need to consider the role you want them to continue to play in your life.

We have heard the phrase: You can’ make people change. Actually, you can. You can make people change how they treat you by not allowing and accepting it. You have the option to reject anything unhealthy.

So now, the question lingers, “I do” OR “I don’t”? The choice is yours. Make it a healthy one!

I encourage you to be apart of my Healing Hearts Coaching sessions this month. Also, be sure to check out my novel, Marriage Thorn.

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